Tips For Dads For A Successful Delivery

When my daughter was born, I was hardly prepared for the experience in the hospital, both before and after delivery, and I found myself bumbling through my first few days without anything resembling knowledge of what the heck I had gotten myself into. Luckily, by the time my son came around, just a few short weeks ago, I had figured out a much better game plan.

While there are plenty of sources for moms-to-be on what to expect during their hospital stay, not to mention the fact that new moms get just as much attention and help from the hospital staff as your new baby will, there isn't much information out there for new dads (not to mention the fact that dads get about as much attention in the hospital as the mops used to clean the rooms.)

So, here are just a few tips that any dad-to-be can benefit from during their stay at the hospital.

Bring Snacks
If there's one thing I've learned through the birth of both of my children, it's that babies don't give a crap about YOUR schedule, even when you think you're the one in control of everything. When my wife's water broke with our daughter, two weeks early, I ran out of the house with my next meal far from my thoughts and even with a short-notice C-section it was still about 6 hours before she was delivered and another 2 before everything had settled down and I could inhale some cafeteria food.

My son, on the other hand, was supposed to be a scheduled C-section, scheduled for 9 AM, so I brought a few Clif bars with me to tide me over, only to be bumped FIVE times from the operating room's priority list and we didn't end up delivering until nearly 5 PM (on a very empty stomach). Lesson learned: Bring snacks and ration them out.

Bring a Pillow and Sweatshirt
As far as I can tell, hospitals really aren't in the business of making sure that the Dad is comfortable during his stay in the hospital with Mom and Baby. While some hospitals at least seem to make a feigned effort to accommodate Pops with pull-out beds and such, most don't. Even the ones that do don't really keep extra pillows or blankets on hand for dad, so it's a good idea to bring your own.

During my most recent stay at the hospital for our son's birth, I also noticed that hospital rooms are kept at a wonderfully chilly 60 degrees or so. Whether it was because of the hormones or the pain killers, my wife didn't seem to mind the temperature, I found myself rubbing my hands together to keep them warm. Of course, it was 103 degrees outside when we left for the hospital, so I hadn't thought to pack anything other than shorts and tee-shirts, but what I really should have packed was a sweatshirt.

Sh*t Happens...and Quickly
No amount of jokes, stories, or anecdotes can ever prepare you for the terrible contents of your cute little bundle of joy's first dirty diaper, and a tarry black substance known as meconium. Meconium is basically the end ("end". Ha. Get it?) result of your baby practicing swallowing in the womb by ingesting massive amounts of amniotic fluid and gearing up it's bowels for post-delivery production. If you ever get the urge to skip a few meals, I'd suggest looking up pictures of meconium online, because it is nasty stuff.

If you're "lucky" (depending on how you look at it) you're little one will start pumping out the nasty black tar immediately upon entering the world (and in both of my children's cases it was directly into my wife's open stomach) and you'll be able to stave off changing the first diaper at least for a little while, but trust me there will be plenty more where that came from, and unless you expect your baby-mama to pull out all of her IVs and climb out of her hospital bed to come change those diapers, that task will fall directly to you, my fatherly friends. So, come prepared to meet for the nastiest thing to come out of your adorable child for a long time.

Steal Supplies Shamelessly
OK, maybe "stealing" isn't the right term for it, it's really more like "stockpiling". During your stay in the hospital, and assuming that your baby is staying in your room with you instead of a fifties-style viewing-window nursery, the hospital will provide for you as many baby supplies as needed in the form of diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. and if you've done your homework prior to parenthood, you'll know that these items can get very expensive, especially if your baby blows through diapers like my son does.

So, the trick to learn is that each time there is a changing of nurses, which is usually every 8 hours and your current nurse's shift is probably posted in your room somewhere, the new nurse comes in to introduce themselves and restock your supply of baby-fixins. So what I did every time our current nurses shift was about to end, was to load the bulk of the remaining diapers, wipes, and any other useful items into our overnight luggage, so that when the new nurse came in she would give us a fresh supply. Prior to the next shift change all you need to do is lather, rinse, repeat and you'll start building a sweet little cost-saving diaper cache.

Of course every delivery situation is different and no two people's experiences will ever be exactly alike, but with these few tips at hand, I'm sure that you'll be slightly better prepared to face your inauguration into fatherhood with a slightly better idea of what the hell you're doing.

Good luck!

Father's Day 2011

It's been quite some time since I've posted to Father Doesn't Know Best, but I couldn't let Father's Day go by without writing a new post. Between work and chasing a toddler around the house it's been a busy last couple of months, but with the birth of my second child (my first son!) only a few days away I will be back in the fatherly-blog saddle very soon!

I've also been putting some work into my other blog lately, Beer for Daddy, where I can take a break after my daughter is in bed to try out new beers and put my thoughts down in digital ink. It's a fun project for me, and if you're into unique beer, you should check it out.

But, enough with the excuses, back to Father's Day...

When I was a kid I remember watching my dad mow our lawns from the window of our living room. I used to think that it was such a cool job and I remember feeling proud to watch him do it. (Although I didn't carry the same affinity for the task when I became old enough to push the lawn mower around myself.) Whenever he would look my way, I would wave to him and he would smile and wave back.

This morning, after getting to sleep in until 7:30 (about an hour and a half more than usual), and a nice breakfast that was made with my daughter's "help", I set to my weekly task of mowing the lawns. My daughter asked if she could help me, and I told her that she could help by watching me mow the lawns and cheering me on. She gladly accepted the task.

As I started the lawnmower up in the front yard, my wife pulled a chair up to the front window so my daughter could watch me. Every time I passed by the window and looked in at my daughter, she would give me a big smile and wave at me, and through the window I could see her saying "Hi, Daddy!"

When I moved to the backyard I got the same celebrity treatment, this time with my daughter sitting down on a chair in front of our sliding glass door. She sat there the entire time I was mowing the lawns and every time I looked over at her she would smile and wave to me, and I would wave back. I could feel her love through the window, and it was a great feeling.

This is my third Father's Day as a Dad, and it is my favorite one by far. I spent my first Father's Day with a three-month old sleeping on my chest, and my second with a new toddler in my lap, but this Father's Day I got to hear the words "Happy Father's Day" from my daughter's mouth as well as my new favorite phrase of hers, "Super Daddy".

Before I became a father, I had always dreamed of days like today, when I would be able to not only love my child (soon to be plural) unconditionally, but to have that unconditional love returned to me as well. And, I know that the reason that my daughter can show me the love and respect that she does is because I have done the same for her first, by loving her and respecting her since the day she was born.

I wish for every father out there to be able to experience the same affection for and from their children that I have given to and received from mine, not only today but on all days. As Fathers, it's up to us to show our children what love and respect look like, by showing it to our children first so that they can grow up to do the same for their children.

"Any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad."

Happy Father's Day!

The Magical Toddler Bed

Back in December (I know, it's been a while since I've posted) we decided to make the jump from crib to toddler bed, and luckily Santa was on the same page as us. Only a few days before Christmas my daughter had figured out how to semi-safely climb over the edge of her crib and drop to the floor, so our plan to get her a toddler bed for Christmas couldn't have been more perfectly timed.

Since my daughter has always had an affinity for puppies, probably due to the fact that we have two dogs of our own, we decided to get her some puppy-themed bedding and a matching puppy pillow pet (that I had to go to four stores to find...who knew a stupid pillow would be the hot seller?) and when she came down the stairs on Christmas morning and saw her new bed "under" the Christmas tree she was thrilled.

Some friends of our had made the switch to a toddler bed for their little one a few months before us, but unfortunately the results weren't great and they ended up getting a visit from their child at 3 AM every night after the switch. Apparently once the the bars of the crib were gone, there was nothing stopping the midnight jailbreaks. So, I was a little worried about whether or not my daughter would stay in her bed all night...mostly because I'm pretty fond of my sleep.

As I went to bed on Christmas night, with my daughter tucked into her new toddler bed, I fully expected to only get a few hours of sleep before getting a visit from a sleepy toddler. To my great surprise, the next time I woke up was in the morning, after the sun was already up. I went to check on my daughter, thinking that something might be wrong, but I found her asleep in her bed (albeit with her head at the foot of the bed.)

I assumed that she had slept all night after being tired out from Christmas, so I assumed that I would find her at my bedside at 3 AM the next night instead. Again, to my surprise I woke up in the morning to the sounds of my daughter talking on the baby monitor. She had slept in her bed all night again, but I sat in bed for a while and waited for her to walk out of bed to come to our room.

After laying in bed with my wife for ten minutes, the two of us listening to our daughter talk to herself on the baby monitor, we finally got up to go peek in on her only to find her sitting in bed and talking to her toys. When I walked into the room she said "Hi, Daddy!" and got out of bed to come hug me. It was like she thought that she still had to stay in bed until one of us came into the room, just like with her crib.

I thought that it had to be an anomaly, and one that would end quickly, but three months later the magic of the toddler bed is still holding strong.

Every night for the past three months, we've tucked our daughter into bed and walked out of the room without being followed (even on nights filled with a few tears) and she's slept through the night without getting up. On some mornings I have to wake her up to get her ready for her day, and on some mornings she wakes up on her own and sits in her room until someone comes to get her.

Only recently has the magic of the toddler bed started to wear off...slightly. The other morning I walked out of my bedroom to find my daughter standing in her doorway waiting for me, holding her blanket and stuffed puppy. A few days later she was awake before me again and slightly farther down the hallway, and closer to my bedroom

So, as my daughter's second birthday creeps ever closer, like a toddler in a hallway, I'm sure that there is probably only a few ounces of magic left in those tiny bedposts, but I'll take all the help that my sleep can get.

I just hope that her sleep habits stay this nice until after our next kid is born.