I finally understand why people jokingly refer to their first born as their "practice baby" (or, at least that's what my mom always said about me!), so they could "work out the kinks" before having any more kids. While I haven't done anything as dreadfully stupid as letting my daughter play with knives, I feel like I've already made some mistakes that need to be learned from.Case in point: the other night, after hastily strapping my daughter into her car seat from a nighttime trip to the store, she started wailing as we pulled out of the parking lot. At the next stop in our trip my wife discovered that I had accidentally strapped one of her legs into the car seat, as if she was sitting "Indian style". (I'm not sure if that phrase is still considered politically correct, but it's the only way I know to describe that position.)
I was the cause of my daughter's discomfort, and I felt awful. Luckily, she wasn't actually injured, and she seemed to have forgotten about it a few minutes later. (Lucky for me, babies have the attention span of a gold fish!)
On another occasion, I sat my daughter up on her changing table, so it would be easier to put a button-up shirt on her. Sitting her up to put her shirts on was one of the benefits of her newly discovered ability to prop herself up, when positioned as such.
What I didn't account for was the the range of motion of her head from her fulcrum (her butt), the fact that I had centered her on the changing table, and the fact that she hadn't, at the time, perfected the ability to keep herself propped up in the sitting up position. I'm sure you can already guess what happened...
...TIMBER!!!
In the split second that I looked down, to grab a bow to put on her head, she fell backwards and bonked her head on the end of the changing table. I waited for a second to see if she had actually hurt herself, which was just enough time for the pain to reach her brain and the infamous "bucket lip" formed, followed by a heartbreaking scream.
Another time, in a similar situation, I sat my daughter on the floor next to the computer desk while I looked something up online (probably the answer to a parenting question). Even though I had propped her up perpendicular to the computer desk, to account for the fact that she might fall over, when my dog came over to give her a "kiss" she fell over sideways and bonked her head on the desk! Again, the "bucket lip" and crying ensued.
Sometimes I ask myself, "Am I really cut out to raise this kid? It's only been a few months and I already feel like I've ruined her GPA!"
So, maybe the "practice baby" theory is true. Or, maybe my mom was just making fun of me.
Although, I guess it's only really funny if, despite the occasional head bonk, she still turns out OK!
4 comments:
We have a practice baby. She's eight. Then, when she was six, my wife and I had triplets. So whatever we had learned w/ Alli is now, sadly, lost in the confusion.
just to make you feel better, i've made the fulcrum mistake, too! the babies were only six months old or so, and we used to roll them around in a triple-decker stroller, where each baby’s car seat served as the actual stroller seat. it simply needed to be popped into the metal frame. the front seat was the lowest and sat directly above the lone front wheel. the two other car seats were popped in directly behind the first one, successively higher up on the frame such that the highest one was closest to the handle bars, sitting directly above the two rear wheels. one of the first times i unloaded the triple-decker stroller, i did so without regard for newton or his stupid apples. i took sam out first, then jack.
“honey!” my wife screamed. “kirby!!”
i looked up as kirby, who was in the top seat, came crashing downward as if on a see-saw, smacking the garage floor with an alarming thud.
"honey! good new," i shouldted back. "the car seats work!" enjoyed your post!
Oh my! Thanks for sharing your story! It's amazing to me how many occurences like that happen, where a momentary lapse in judgement can result in the easily foreseeable yet unexpected.
Heheh one on my twins gets the bucket lip. Sounds like you need a nerf helmet and you'll be good to go.
That is a great idea! Do they make them in 6-12 month size? :)
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